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The Dangers of
Hovering around Your Children
Parents who hover are an easily recognizable thing. Think of the
mom at the playground who won't let her children go down the
slide. Think of your next door neighbor who drives her children to
school, because she's scared that the school bus may get into an
accident. Think of the Dad at the local Boy Scouts who won't allow
his son practice knot-tying because he's scared that the child may
accidentally strangle himself with rope.
In order to protect your children from the existing dangers that
exist in the world today, you have to recognize the different
between protection and being over-bearing. It becomes dangerous to
a child's sense of well-being and their ability to make decisions
and be responsible. It also affects the ability of these children
to socialize with people within their peer group and handle any
encounters or physical dangers that they may face.
When you are overprotective it can easily sap the confidence of
your child without you getting to realize it. When you hover it
prevents your children from experiencing the challenges and
successes that children need to experience in order for them to
grow into stronger and confident adults prepared to face the
world. It is painful when your child is the only person who isn't
invited to a party but rather than confronting the other parent
and making it a compulsory matter, you should teach your child how
to handle disappointment in life.
The term "helicopter parent" is becoming all the more prevalent on
today's college campuses. Many baby boomer tend to find themselves
interfering with the lives of their children in every single way
possible bothering everyone from room mates to professors down to
prospective employers. This may sound like something out of a book
but you'll hear of many parents attending interviews with college
graduates and calling prospective employers to learn why their
children didn't get a particular job.
Being involved in the life of your child is a good thing, but
running all the aspects of the life of your child is something
else entirely. One author Mel Levin was parents especially those
who he feels are trying to create children that will be unable to
handle the travails of life now and in the future.
How do you know when you're going too far as a parent? These are
some simple signs that you may be turning into a helicopter
parent.
When you find yourself interfering too much with your children
when they are playing. Small children may do different things in
order to get their own way; they will fight push, kick and
scratch. This is a way that they learn what make ups acceptable
social behavior and what doesn't.
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Whenever you're constantly trying to fix the hurt feelings of your
child you may be coming overbearing. No one can be completely
happy all the time. You should no when to step in and when not to.
A lot of disappointments occur in life and the sooner that your
children cope with these disappointments the better for them and
for you. Teach them how to handle their disappointments in a more
productive way.
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When you're always in contact with your child you may be turning
into an overbearing parent. It's perfectly normal to want to know
where your children are but when you feel the need to contact them
on their phone several times a day, then it may be going too far.
Let your children handle their own schedules on their own and deal
with the consequences whenever they fail to comply with things
like remembering their own homework.
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If you feel terrible with yourself whenever your child doesn't
succeed then you have a problem. Your sense of self worth
shouldn't be based on the success of your child.
Article Source:
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