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Getting Children to Listen When You Need Them To
Studies have shown that if you take the time out to listen to your
children and talk to them for about a quarter of an hour every
day, you can open up channels of communication that will end up
lasting a whole lifetime. This will be a lifesaver during the
difficult teenage years.
Getting to communicate with your children isn't that difficult but
it takes a fair amount of patience understanding and practice as
well. Depending on how old your child is, they may be perfectly
willing to share details with you about their personal lives and
the friends that they keep. Children who are in preschool and
elementary school love to give their parents a detailed report of
activities they enjoy with their friends. You should this
eagerness that they have in their youth to set a stage for the
future.
When children grown up, the eagerness they have to share their
thoughts and feelings reduce. Getting information about what
happened in school becomes subject to grunts and shrugs with
plenty of "nothings" in between. This may seem rather normal at
this point in their development but it doesn't mean that you
should give up on trying discussing the life of your child. They
need a connection although their bid for independence is affecting
their need to create a stronger bond with you.
In order to build better communication with your child, you have
to learn when to listen and when to talk, so your child feels
comfortable with you. How is this achieved? Many experts offer
these tips.
Remained Informed about School
You should try to know what is going on in school. You should try
to attend teacher-parent meetings, read the school newsletter and
ensure that you remain in contact with other parents as well. This
shows your child that you care about where they spend most of
their time. You will also be able to cope with the changes and
issues that occur with your children and the school as well.
Give Children Space
Sometimes after you like to drive downtown after work, your kids
love their own space too. Don't plague your children with
questions as soon as they get into the door. You should take some
time later maybe when you're preparing dinner or something else to
chat about the day of your child.
Share Your Day with the Kids
If you're the one always asking questions, your children can
easily feel that they are being interrogated. Learn to share funny
stories about your frustrations or your day. Ask your children if
they have had a similar experience lately as well.
Ask Open Questions
If you ask yes/no questions you'll get back answers in monologue.
Try to ask open ended questions which will show children that
you're really more interested in learning more about their lives.
Give Full Attention
When you sit down to talk with your child you should make sure
that you really listen. Take the time out to read between the
lines and observe body language. Make it a point as well to take
an interest in whatever your child is talking about even if they
talk about something in which you have little interest in.
Stay Encouraging
Make sure that you lean forward and make eye contact when you can.
You should show support both verbally and non-verbally as well.
You should encourage your child able to share their dreams,
problems and aspirations with you.
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